The Russian waitress and Catherine and Lisa

RUSSIAN WAITRESS

I went out to lunch with co-workers, and the waitress was this very pretty tall blonde Russian girl. It made me so sad that there is such prettiness and I can't possess any of it. I think I could cry.

CATHERINE

I met her at a bar, one that she recommended. It was only $5 for a beer. Wow, cheap prices!

She looks butch.

She's a nice girl

She looks butch.

Since she was so nice, I suggested that we go eat dinner. So after our beers we went to eat at a restaurant she recommended. Wow, the food was cheap! Only forty dollars for both of us and that included drinks. And I also think she sincerely wanted to offer to pay for half of the meal and it wasn't just a test to determine if I would take her up on the offer and therefore not be boyfriend material. But being the gentleman that I am I insisted on paying.

She looks butch.

For undergraduate school she went to one of those Seven Sisters schools. A lot of lesbian girls go to those places.

She looks butch.

After our date was over, she evidently wanted me to kiss her goodbye, on the lips. That's nice of her. I obliged.

She looks butch.

I should probably go out with her again because she's nice and she seems to like me and I really need the experience of having a girlfriend and losing my virginity.

LISA

Who is Lisa? I sent out 38 emails to "women" on the online dating service, and so far Lisa is the only one who gave me her phone number. (Making my online dating hit rate somewhat better than Rick's. If you're the kind of guy who can go to a club and get girls' phone numbers, then you're a lot better off doing that.)

Lisa is not some ugly desperate girl. She looks pretty hot in her photos, she's several years younger than me, and she went to a good college and she has a graduate degree. It makes you wonder what the catch is.

So I talked to her on the phone this evening (in fact I just got off the phone a few minutes ago). She sounds so incredibly sweet and feminine. Wow! I think I could fall in love with her based solely on her voice.

We're going to go out for dinner this Friday after work. I want to pick a really nice restaurant to impress her.