Wednesday, December 28, 2005

More about Yoko

I've been writing about Yoko, the spoiled Japanese girl whom the people who leave comments on my blog love to hate. Most of the anti-Yoko comments are pretty accurate. The girl has no real redeeming personality traits. She can't walk 3/4 of a mile to the movie theater. She orders drinks even though she has no intention of actually drinking them. She doesn't seem to contribute anything to the economy of either the United States or Japan. She hasn't worked at a job except at her parents' retail "boutique." She has horrid tastes in movies. She'll only watch romantic comedies or true stories.

Some readers take exception to the word "girl," but in no way does Yoko act with the maturity of a woman. Part of this is cultural. Japanese "women" try to act immature and girlish. The Japanese have word for it, it's called "kawaii," which translates roughly as "cute."

Occasionally she says something interesting. Like at the bar where she was chatting with Julie the Asian bartender, she said that white women ruin their skin by sunbathing, and that's why white women in their thirties look old. Damn, she nailed that one! White women who are reading this, get the hell out of the sun now if you plan on still being single in your thirties.

I'm not into Asian girls, but compared to the way other Asian girls look she's in the top 20%, maybe even better than that. Her teeth are slightly lacking but I've seen a heck of a lot worse in Asian girls who aren't known for their good teeth.

For some weird reason, it turns me on that someone shallow and superficial like Yoko wants to hang out with me. I wish a shallow and superficial white girl from America in the top 20% lookswise would be interested in me.

Monday, December 26, 2005

Two hot Asian girls feel each others' legs

After the movie and before dinner, we go into this empty bar (it was 5:15 PM on a Monday that's a holiday, no one's around) and we had gin & tonics (but Yoko hardly touched hers, she's not much of a drinker, she just likes to order stuff).

Anyway, the bartender is this Asian girl wearing a very tight t-shirt which shows off her hot body. Why do all these Asian girls all of a sudden have hot bodies? She even had a better body than Yoko. And she had this big tattoo all over her left arm.

In a comment last time, someone got mad at me for calling "women" "girls." Well the bartender's t-shirt read "Everybody loves an Asian girl." If her t-shirt says she's a "girl," who am I to call her anything else?

So Julie, the Asian girl bartender with the tattoo and the hot body starts talking to us, and first she's asking me a whole bunch of questions about what I do, which was weird, it was almost like she was hitting on me. And then Julie recommends various places for us to go, such as expensive lounges and Broadway musicals (those Asian girls sure know how to spend their boyfriends' money)

Then Yoko and Julie start chatting about skin care and complimenting each other's looks and discussing their workout regimens. And they also both agreed that white women were ugly compared to Asians. Wow, they're both racist!

It ended with the two of them feeling each other's calf muscles to see who had the more muscular legs. It was almost lesbian-like. This was well worth the cost of a movie and dinner and drinks and two cab rides. Good thing I didn't listen to the advice of people who said I should dump Yoko because she's spoiled. Then I would have spent all day alone playing video games instead of watching two hot Asian girls feeling each others' legs.

In other dating news, I met a girl at a club, her name is Carr (what kind of weird name is Carr?) and I think she's too skinny, but besides that it's hard to remember what she looked like because it was dark. I'm going to call her because it's cool that a girl at a club would give me her phone number, even though she was drunk when she gave it to me. I think it's much more manly and non-virgin-like to meet a girl at a club than to meet a girl on the internet.

Friday, December 23, 2005

Sex and the City

Will be seeing Yoko again

Afternoon movie and early dinner on Monday. Her spoiledness is unable to walk 3/4 of a mile to the movie theater because she has to wear high heels so that's going to be an extra $12 or so in cab fare.

How did Yoko get to be so spoiled? I think her parents might be pretty well off. Yoko travels around the world and doesn't seem to have any sort of career.

The people who comment on my blog don't like Yoko. They think it's not fair that she gets to make me do all this stuff for her just because my penis likes her. Well life hasn't been fair to me either.

I am going to give my penis the benefit of the doubt here. It's his turn to stand up for himself.

Anyway, I'm not sure she's that much different in her expectations from all the American women in Manhattan. She's just more honest in telling me what she expects.

There are important cultural differences between the U.S. and Japan. Japanese people are less sexually active than Americans. They don't start dating until after they graduate from high school. Japanese people are shy and less aggressive compared to Americans. I think that Yoko is turned off by the fowardness of American society.

Japanese aren't into feminism the way American women are. They still believe in differentiated gender roles. Her blatant high maintenance behavior is probably more acceptable in Japan than it is here.

For a long time I've noticed that Asian girls seem to like me better than American girls. Asians value intelligence and politeness (which is me), while American women are more into extroverted men who look like Brad Pitt.

Asigan girls like skinny guys (me) while American girls like big musclebound guys (not me).

Knowing this increases my self confidence around Yoko because she probably likes me because I'm at the top of her most desirable list, and not because she's just desperate to go out with anyone on account of being in her mid thirties and all the really desirable men are married or going out with twenty-something girls. Did I mention that Yoko is about a decade younger than me?

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Yoko will see me again. Yay!

I`d like to see you again. but I like a gentlman & sweet guy. and be friend first. is that o.K?
I think she's saying that she wants me to take her places and pay her way, but she's not going to have sex with me, or even do any french kissing.

This is great. Being forced to be physically intimate after two dates is very intimidating for a virgin like myself. Yoko is going to let me enjoy our relationship without sexual pressure.

Hopefully this will work out.

Do I have to buy her a Christmas present?

And people, stop making fun or her English, she speaks and writes English a lot better than I can write or speak in any language other than English.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Yoko writes

One line emails. One on Monday, then two today.

I'm starting to think she's a little weird. But hey, she has a great body.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Review of Jeremy

Jeremy is a low budget movie from 1973 that won critical acclaim at the Cannes Film Festival. It's a story about teenage love starring Robby Benson as Jeremy, and Glynnis O'Connor as Susan.

Why am I reviewing it in this blog? Because according to a book about male virginity written by Brian Gilmartin, Jeremy was the favorite movie of male virgins. For a long time Jeremy has been unavailable, but it was recently released on DVD so I bought a copy from out of curiousity to see what the fuss is all about.

From a technical perspective it's a pretty lousy DVD. The picture is grainy and blurry and the colors are dull. It's very disappointing to look at after viewing DVDs of modern movies and TV shows. The DVD contains no extras, just the movie.

The movie takes place in New York City, so if you're a New Yorker you'll find it interesting seeing what the city looked like in 1973. I also liked the early 1970s folk music soundtrack, but unfortunately the same song was played several times; it would have been better to have a greater variety of music.

But the story itself? Jeremy is a shy and very nerdy looking high school sophomore who has never had any sort of relationship with a girl. He's afraid to even talk to them. This is probably familiar to most male virgins, but I found it painful to watch.

A beautiful girl, Susan, sees Jeremy playing the cello at a school concert, and likes him because of that. Jeremy likes her because of her looks. (I don't think she looks that exciting, but that's not the point, Jeremy does, and perhaps she was pretty for 1973 but what we consider pretty changes with the decades.)

Jeremy's attempts to ask her out are incredibly nerdy and dorky, but once they are together it's Susan who pushes the relationship along, and finally there is a scene where she's on top and she takes off her top and her bra and then... well I'm not sure what happened but from the context of the movie I don't think they had sex, they just made out.

I guess this movie is every male virgin's fantasy, that he will meet a pretty girl who will like him for some trait other than his looks and she will move the relationship along.

Unfortunately, the movie didn't really do that much for me. I found it slow and boring and painful to watch Jeremy being nerdy and awkward. It's not a movie I would want to watch again.

I should point out that, besides the unusual (for Hollywood) twist of Jeremy being really nerdy and Susan pushing along the relationship, the movie otherwise reinforces the usual stereotypes. The girl has to look pretty, and in order for the boy to win the heart of the pretty girl he has to do something exceptional, in this case play the cello exceptionally well.

The people commenting on my blog have a problem with me writing so much about how women look, but I'm just taking my cues from the media and society.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Is Yoko blowing me off?

In an email she writes:
I think I have cold again. didn`t go to school yestday. was in bed all day. if I feel better I`ll call you o.k?
Now how likely is it that she has yet another cold?

This is the normal trend in dating, anyone that I like isn't interested in me. This is because all men like the same women, so these much liked women have their pick of the most desirable men, and I'm not on the most desirable list.

Yes, I know I need to lower my standards, as I wrote about before.

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Yoko from Tokyo has a hot body

About three weeks ago, this Japanese girl named Yoko contacted me via this online dating service. She contacted me first, which is also what happened with Rana.

I asked her why she decided to contact me. She said I looked "sweet." Somehow women can sense my virginalness just be looking at my photo, but the difference between Japanese and American girls is that most American girls are turned off by it, but Japanese girls like it.

Backing up a little, it was easy to be put off by her emails, because she wrote that she's looking for a "gentleman" who will "spoil" her and "do everything for her" and take her out to dinner and pay for everything. A total high maintenance gold digger, right? Well, at least she's honest about saying what she wants in a man. American women won't ever say what they want, apparently it ruins the romance if she actually has to spell out what she's looking for.

And the stuff that Yoko is looking for is stuff I can give her. I can't give a woman a buffed out bod with rock solid abs and an amazing sexual experience consisting of multiple orgasms. But I can buy dinner and stuff.

I figured it's my patriotic duty to give Yoko a chance. After all, Japan is our most important trading partner and best ally in the Pacific Rim, so I'm helping to promote good international relations.

Yoko told me she wants to see the Museum of Modern Art. (Tickets are $20 per person, ouch.) So I made up to meet her at her apartment today at noon. She showed up wearing this bright cyan jacket, and high boots with bright magenta socks just barely showing above the boots, and these 3/4 length jeans just the right length to show the slightest amount of skin between the magenta socks and the bottom of the jeans. And she had this really wild curly hair, not the classic straight Japanese hair you might expect.

I took a cab to the museum in order to demonstrate that I was willing to throw around some money. Her last "boyfriend" had an apartment in the city and also a house in New Jersey, so I wanted to start out the date by being "gentlemanly."

The fun began when we arrived at the museum and she took of her cyan jacket for the coat check. HOLY! SHE HAS A HOT BODY! This is not your typical anorexic Asian girl body, she had this curvaceous figure with breasts jutting out and a hint of nipple showing. Her form fitting white top was just the right length so that the tiniest bit of her perfecly flat and toned stomach was showing, which then widened into beautiful hips and a pleasantly rounded behind. WOW WOW WOW WOW!

My penis, which had been perfectly flaccid for most of the time I spent with Jane, perked up at the sight of Yoko's incredible body.

Yoko says that she wants to get married (yet another breach of etiquette, everyone knows you're not supposed to talk about Big stuff like that on a first date or even a fifth date) but she can't marry an American. Why not? Americans are not gentlemen and they have no morals. And Japanese men? Some are gentleman most aren't.

And what are these morals she's talking about? I neglected to ask, but I think she means that American men want to have sex after one or two dates. Yoko, maybe, doesn't realize that American women also want to have sex after one or two dates (at least the ones in New York City) and that if you don't give them good sex they will pass on you for a guy who will. Japanese people are much less sexually active than Americans.

Skipping ahead a few hours, after the museum, a walk past the Christmas Tree at Rockefeller Center, I take her to an early dinner at a fairly nice Italian restaurant in the theater district. (Oh no! The overpriced Manhattan Italian restuarant strikes again. There goes another $100.)

During our dinner, I learned more about her body. She used to be thin like other Japanese girls, but she likes to eat too much, so in order to burn off the food she has to exercise a lot, and she had a home gym in Japan where she'd lift weights every day. Yes, she's been lifting weights for a very long time. In case you're wondering if she looks like some female bodybuilder, the answer is hell no, she looks HOT, and she only weighs 100 pounds, or so she claims. But it's all muscle and no fat, or so she claims.

But she says she wants to lose her muscle. Why do a thing like that? Because men in Japan don't like a girl who has any muscle. No way! Yes, American men love the way she looks, but not Japanese men. When she goes back to Japan, no one will want to date her. Disappointedly, I asked if that means that she's going to stop lifting weights? Oh no! She can't stop lifting weights or she'd get "fat"! Oh. Not logical at all but did I mention that she has an incredibly HOT BODY? I can put up with a little illogic for results like that. Yummy!

I really want to see Yoko again, I wonder if she likes me?

Friday, December 9, 2005

Me Tarzan, you Jane

I like Jane. Too bad I'm going to blow it because I don't know how to push the relationship to the next level. Last time around Rana pushed the relationship along, but that's not normally how it happens.

Tarzan had the same problem. Even though he was able to wrestle lions with his bare hands, he was also a virgin and shy around women. I highly recomment the original book by Edgar Rice Burroughs, so wonderfully politically incorrect, yet when it comes to sex so G rated. Tarzan was written in a time when a large percentage of the population actually waited until they were married to have sex.

I'm afraid I'm going to grow old alone and wind up like Bob.

Wednesday, December 7, 2005

Wednesday update

(1) I discovered that someone wrote a very long post about my blog, and one in which I'm not insulted, which is nice. In fact, the author truly demonstrates her understanding of the problems faced by male virgins. At one point she compares it to being afraid to fly on planes, which is a comparison that I myself have been meaning to write about.

(2) Jane snagged us tickets to a Broadway show. Wasn't that nice of her? Being friends with Jane has benefits. And I don't mean sexual benefits, which based upon my problems getting it up is a benefit I have no more use for than a blind man needs free DVD rentals from Blockbuster.

(3) My last post has a lot of nasty comments because I mentioned that Jane has some extra weight on her. Sorry, but my blog contains observations, and weight is a socially important trait. Women care about it more than men do. Women seem to have a pecking order amongst themselves in which the skinniest woman is at the top of the pecking order. Men don't even like anorexic looking women. The anorexic looking woman at the top of the female pecking order is a big turn-off to most men. Boy is it hypocritical for women to criticize me for noticing if someone weighs a lot when all women do is obsess over how much they weigh and go on diets.

Tuesday, December 6, 2005

Tuesday update

Today Jane writes (among a lot of other stuff):
Any interest in getting together on Friday night?
Aww, isn't that nice of her, she wants to see me on Friday. She's disobeying those Rules which say that she's supposed to play hard to get.

I don't understand why she likes me. She's very pretty except for being a few pounds too heavy. I guess the extra weight prevents her from finding higher quality dates and she has to settle for me.

Monday, December 5, 2005

Monday upate

After our date on Thursday, Jane sent me this email:
Hey [name deleted],
Thank you again for dinner last night! I had a nice time.
Let's talk soon
I think it means "I want to see you again, but I'm a girl so you have to call me first and ask me on another date because your the guy." Isn't that nice? She wants to see me again. And with me being so undesirable and all, that's amazing.

I finally called her today, and left her a brief voicemail. I'm not really looking forward to more dates, because this is where the relationship has to become more intimate, and we know that I suck at that.

Anyone have any ideas for what activity I should suggest for our third date?


I was at this stupid charity event tonite (there goes another $50), but none of the people were really there for the charity, it was more of a "meet market," I think, not that I ever meet anyone at these things. (I also wonder how poor people ever manage to meet anybody?)

Despite what some of the commenters on my blog say to the contary, everything about the meet market is geared towards superficial evaluations of how people look. The women talk to each other about what losers and how ugly the men are. It's far worse than any of the stuff I wrote on my blog that I get flak for. I started feeling sorry for the men who were so reviled by the women, but then I came to my senses and realized that I need to feel more sorry for myself. Even the loser men are probably not virgins. If they aren't shy, then persistence will eventually pay off for them. But for men who are shy, the world really sucks.

Thursday, December 1, 2005

Second date with Jane

I haven't written about any recent dates since I broke up with Rana. But my date tonight with Jane was much better than any of my other recent dates (and by recent I mean within the last year).

My first date with Jane was two weeks ago, and it was a really cheap date where I only had to buy her a cup of coffee at Starbucks (although Starbucks in Manhattan is awfully overpriced). Then she went away to Seattle for Thanksgiving so I didn't see her for two weeks.

Jane is great to talk to. Every other date I go on, I feel like I have to make an effort to converse, but Jane is just fun and easy. Maybe it helps a little that we both went to the same college. I don't know if we just happen to click or if Jane is a naturally chatty person and everyone feels this way about her.

And Jane is really cute. She looks like Meg Ryan, but with an extra sixty pounds. Yeah, I figure Meg Ryan weighs about a hundred and Jane weighs in at around 160 and 5'7". But she has a really pretty face and gorgeous blonde hair. I wonder if the men around New York see her attractive looks, or maybe they are turned off because she's not skinny? I don't know. Rana was skinny but she was ugly. Jane is adorable and zaftig. Jenny, my first and only (unrequited) love weighed 150. Jenny was also a blue eyed blonde.

Jane seems to like me. Am I special, or does she just have some kind of weird taste for nerdy virginal guys? Or does she have trouble finding dates because she weighs too much? When we parted, she said something about wanting to see me again, and she had me give her a second kiss. Surely she wouldn't encourage me like that if she didn't want to see me again? Maybe I was supposed to do more than just give her a quick kiss? Maybe I was supposed to invite her back to my place so we could have hot and heavy sex? (Although we know that probably wouldn't work out so well.)