Is beauty the most important attribute a girl has? The politically correct answer is no, but if beauty isn't that important why are people jumping all over me because I pointed out that Rana is ugly? If I complained that she was lousy at playing bridge, everyone would have laughed because everyone knows that playing bridge is not an attribute that anyone actually cares about. By being so upset that I said she's ugly, this is a tacit admission that looks are really the most important thing.
Being fixated on beauty and other socially desirable attributes contributes to virginity. Most regular non-virgin men will lower their standards until they can get sexual satisfaction. It is said that men in prison will lower their standards so much that they rape other male prisoners. It's not because the prison rapists are gay, it's because a guy's behind is the closest they can get to what they want, so they lower their standards really really low.
I think I made some definite progress by pursuing the relationship with Rana as long as I did. The pre-blog me would have avoided her both because she wasn't attractive and because the whole sex thing is so scary.
Now some commenters to the blog think that I should never talk about a girl's looks, but how can I have an honest conversation otherwise? Rana not looking so great is an essential part of who she is. If she were really hot, she wouldn't have contacted me on the online dating service because she would have been too busy going out with all the guys who were interested in her because of her looks.
Now I really do understand that I have a problem with fixating on girls who are too far above me on the social desirability scale. And then I'm afraid to ask them out anyway, and if I do get on a date with them my virginness emanates from me and they sense that I'm a loser with women, and this of course turns them off.
It would be much better for me to find an average looking girl, not one below average like Rana, but neither one so hot that she doesn't want anything to do with me except maybe to use me for an expensive dinner or two.