Tuesday, October 11, 2005

It's over with Rana. Yeah!

I don't think that commenters have any right to get on my case because I put off for a day telling Rana that I didn't want to continue our relationship. The reason I didn't want to tell her is because I felt bad about it and I didn't want to hurt her feelings.

I wish I was the scumbag that some people make me out to be, then I would have just called her and said "yo bitch, you ugly, go back to Moldavia." But if I was a scumbag like that then I wouldn't be in this nearly-middle-aged virgin situation. Scumbags get laid a lot easier than people like me who worry too much about others' feelings.

However, I finally got up the nerve to call her, and it wasn't so bad, she didn't seem that upset at all and she was nice about it. I did give off a lot of not-interested signals on Sunday, so I guess she already got the message.

To wrap up this Rana relationship, let me explain the whole thing again. I met Rana, and although she wasn't that pretty at least she wasn't fat, and a big part of my virginity problem is that I've been too much of a perfectionist, and who am I to hold women to such a high standard when I'm not so good looking myself?

At first, I really enjoyed the fact that she seemed to like me so much. But this lasted for only one or two dates. After that, the more I saw of her the less I actually liked her.

However, this relationship has been a big step forward for me. I had only french kissed a girl one time before, and that last time was a one time event a long time ago. I wouldn't even be a virgin anymore if Rana had been sexy enough to give me a hard-on when she wasn't directly stroking my penis.

Let's hope that Rana has helped to overcome my fear of getting intimate with women. And there's another huge fear she helped me overcome; I've always been afraid to tell people my problem. I was able to confess my virginity to Rana, and I think this blog helped, because before I told Rana I told the world anonymously. It's surely no coincidence that only a month after starting this blog I got further with a girl then I ever did in my entire life. So I will continue to put up with the crap I've been getting, such as people telling me that I'm an asshole or that I'm gay, and I'll keep writing here.

Hopefully, with the next girl I'll be able to get past two chaste dates. There is going to be a next girl, her name is Ashley, and I will write more tomorrow, so stay tuned.

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