Almost not a virgin
I should have written this update on Sunday, but I just wasn't ready to write about it. It's not a happy story.
I will skip the unimportant stuff, like all day Saturday, and get back to Saturday evening. She invited herself back to my apartment, under the pretense of needing a warm cup of tea. We were cuddling and kissing on my couch, and then I finally told her that I've "never had a girlfriend before." I didn't have to say anything else about virginity, she got what I meant.
Rana was then incredibly nice about the whole thing, and she set out to be my "teacher." The lesson involved gradually taking off our clothes, and moving from the couch to my bed, and us gradually touching each other's more private parts. First her breasts, and then her clitoris, and then I was sticking my finger into her vagina (she really seems to like that). And then she was ready for the final act. Luckily I had a pack of condoms purchased four years ago (they didn't even expire yet).
And I couldn't get it up.
This is as I predicted before.
Rana has been so nice about all of this. Any regular girl wouldn't have been interested in seeing me again, but Rana is still acting like I'm her boyfriend.
We slept in my bed together, naked. Well, I hardly slept. In the morning she suggested we shower together.
This experience, on the one hand, has been extremely therapeutic because it has helped to reduce my fear of the mysterious hidden female body parts.
On the other hand, there is the psychological fallout from not being able to do the deed.
I will skip the unimportant stuff, like all day Saturday, and get back to Saturday evening. She invited herself back to my apartment, under the pretense of needing a warm cup of tea. We were cuddling and kissing on my couch, and then I finally told her that I've "never had a girlfriend before." I didn't have to say anything else about virginity, she got what I meant.
Rana was then incredibly nice about the whole thing, and she set out to be my "teacher." The lesson involved gradually taking off our clothes, and moving from the couch to my bed, and us gradually touching each other's more private parts. First her breasts, and then her clitoris, and then I was sticking my finger into her vagina (she really seems to like that). And then she was ready for the final act. Luckily I had a pack of condoms purchased four years ago (they didn't even expire yet).
And I couldn't get it up.
This is as I predicted before.
Rana has been so nice about all of this. Any regular girl wouldn't have been interested in seeing me again, but Rana is still acting like I'm her boyfriend.
We slept in my bed together, naked. Well, I hardly slept. In the morning she suggested we shower together.
This experience, on the one hand, has been extremely therapeutic because it has helped to reduce my fear of the mysterious hidden female body parts.
On the other hand, there is the psychological fallout from not being able to do the deed.
posted by Almost 40 virgin at
10:44 PM
8 Comments:
Oh my. The way you say clitoris just freaks me out. Ok, calm down. I think you just got scared and put too much pressure on yourself. Next time, blindfold her. It will help.
By
Networkchic, at 10/06/2005 10:45 AM
Good for you! Dont get discouraged its progress.
By
Kam, at 10/06/2005 11:02 AM
Seems like you had a case of performance anxiety, maybe it'll be better next time. Good luck~~
By
Crystal, at 10/06/2005 1:42 PM
Boy, that is rough. I feel for you, man. Been there. Don't beat yourself up. The first time I was ever going to do it with a girl, I couldn't do it either. I really just wanted to talk to her, and I felt I wasn't allowed to, because I had read somewhere that men who ask women if they can make love to them are naive. I was dumb, I listened to that. The point is dont judge yourself by what others tell you something should be like. Proceed in your own way. And just gently exploring each other's bodies is always a good way to become more comfortable. Consider this "If I can't perform then I can't, who cares? I'm no worse off," and kind of just decide ahead of time that you're gonna decide on that and dont worry. and that will allow you to breathe, it will take the pressure off. and then you can just enjoy things like gently touching her, kissing her, watching her breathe, without having to worry. Then if it works out, or you just make some progress, then you're becoming free.
By
Anonymous, at 4/01/2006 12:32 PM
man i am sure u were not a virgin. how did ur hand suddenly went inside crossing clit and all....otherwise may be u have shagged a lot thinking about all these before...anyway well done. this is nothing less than a short porn story.
By
Anonymous, at 10/21/2006 3:48 AM
Pick up some viagra goofball, trust me I'm younger than you and I have some... o and don't masterbate for a week, trust me you'll be so rock hard with or without viagra that it will be very sexy for her...
basically if you've masterbated alot recently it can be hard to get it up therefor viagra... It's normal at least for me it is..
O btw I have a really good friend who is 40 year virgin as well.. he's cool as hell too and a moderately rich professional, has a very nice house etc.. go figure
By
Unexcelled, at 2/06/2009 11:19 AM
A woman not worth having if you ask me for as the bible says love endures all things - she does not love you so why on earth are you having sex with her? Casual sex is no better than someone abusing their body with drugs, alcohol, over eating, shopping, and the minion of other things that people use to try to fill that empty hole inside. which can only be filled with a personal relationship with Christ (mind you I said Christ, not a church, the Pope, or any other religious circumstance which has nothing to do with Christ). Stop putting women on a pedestal - they are morally no better than a man. Save yourself for someone who actually loves you!
By
Anonymous, at 4/11/2009 6:30 PM
You sound like you're really a homo. If you couldn't get it up when you're in bed with a naked woman, you probably rather have a cock in your mouth.
By
Anonymous, at 6/05/2009 8:53 AM
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