I should have written this update on Sunday, but I just wasn't ready to write about it. It's not a happy story.
I will skip the unimportant stuff, like all day Saturday, and get back to Saturday evening. She invited herself back to my apartment, under the pretense of needing a warm cup of tea. We were cuddling and kissing on my couch, and then I finally told her that I've "never had a girlfriend before." I didn't have to say anything else about virginity, she got what I meant.
Rana was then incredibly nice about the whole thing, and she set out to be my "teacher." The lesson involved gradually taking off our clothes, and moving from the couch to my bed, and us gradually touching each other's more private parts. First her breasts, and then her clitoris, and then I was sticking my finger into her vagina (she really seems to like that). And then she was ready for the final act. Luckily I had a pack of condoms purchased four years ago (they didn't even expire yet).
And I couldn't get it up.
This is as I predicted before.
Rana has been so nice about all of this. Any regular girl wouldn't have been interested in seeing me again, but Rana is still acting like I'm her boyfriend.
We slept in my bed together, naked. Well, I hardly slept. In the morning she suggested we shower together.
This experience, on the one hand, has been extremely therapeutic because it has helped to reduce my fear of the mysterious hidden female body parts.
On the other hand, there is the psychological fallout from not being able to do the deed.
Wednesday, October 5, 2005
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