Saturday, December 10, 2005

Yoko from Tokyo has a hot body

About three weeks ago, this Japanese girl named Yoko contacted me via this online dating service. She contacted me first, which is also what happened with Rana.

I asked her why she decided to contact me. She said I looked "sweet." Somehow women can sense my virginalness just be looking at my photo, but the difference between Japanese and American girls is that most American girls are turned off by it, but Japanese girls like it.

Backing up a little, it was easy to be put off by her emails, because she wrote that she's looking for a "gentleman" who will "spoil" her and "do everything for her" and take her out to dinner and pay for everything. A total high maintenance gold digger, right? Well, at least she's honest about saying what she wants in a man. American women won't ever say what they want, apparently it ruins the romance if she actually has to spell out what she's looking for.

And the stuff that Yoko is looking for is stuff I can give her. I can't give a woman a buffed out bod with rock solid abs and an amazing sexual experience consisting of multiple orgasms. But I can buy dinner and stuff.

I figured it's my patriotic duty to give Yoko a chance. After all, Japan is our most important trading partner and best ally in the Pacific Rim, so I'm helping to promote good international relations.

Yoko told me she wants to see the Museum of Modern Art. (Tickets are $20 per person, ouch.) So I made up to meet her at her apartment today at noon. She showed up wearing this bright cyan jacket, and high boots with bright magenta socks just barely showing above the boots, and these 3/4 length jeans just the right length to show the slightest amount of skin between the magenta socks and the bottom of the jeans. And she had this really wild curly hair, not the classic straight Japanese hair you might expect.

I took a cab to the museum in order to demonstrate that I was willing to throw around some money. Her last "boyfriend" had an apartment in the city and also a house in New Jersey, so I wanted to start out the date by being "gentlemanly."

The fun began when we arrived at the museum and she took of her cyan jacket for the coat check. HOLY! SHE HAS A HOT BODY! This is not your typical anorexic Asian girl body, she had this curvaceous figure with breasts jutting out and a hint of nipple showing. Her form fitting white top was just the right length so that the tiniest bit of her perfecly flat and toned stomach was showing, which then widened into beautiful hips and a pleasantly rounded behind. WOW WOW WOW WOW!

My penis, which had been perfectly flaccid for most of the time I spent with Jane, perked up at the sight of Yoko's incredible body.

Yoko says that she wants to get married (yet another breach of etiquette, everyone knows you're not supposed to talk about Big stuff like that on a first date or even a fifth date) but she can't marry an American. Why not? Americans are not gentlemen and they have no morals. And Japanese men? Some are gentleman most aren't.

And what are these morals she's talking about? I neglected to ask, but I think she means that American men want to have sex after one or two dates. Yoko, maybe, doesn't realize that American women also want to have sex after one or two dates (at least the ones in New York City) and that if you don't give them good sex they will pass on you for a guy who will. Japanese people are much less sexually active than Americans.

Skipping ahead a few hours, after the museum, a walk past the Christmas Tree at Rockefeller Center, I take her to an early dinner at a fairly nice Italian restaurant in the theater district. (Oh no! The overpriced Manhattan Italian restuarant strikes again. There goes another $100.)

During our dinner, I learned more about her body. She used to be thin like other Japanese girls, but she likes to eat too much, so in order to burn off the food she has to exercise a lot, and she had a home gym in Japan where she'd lift weights every day. Yes, she's been lifting weights for a very long time. In case you're wondering if she looks like some female bodybuilder, the answer is hell no, she looks HOT, and she only weighs 100 pounds, or so she claims. But it's all muscle and no fat, or so she claims.

But she says she wants to lose her muscle. Why do a thing like that? Because men in Japan don't like a girl who has any muscle. No way! Yes, American men love the way she looks, but not Japanese men. When she goes back to Japan, no one will want to date her. Disappointedly, I asked if that means that she's going to stop lifting weights? Oh no! She can't stop lifting weights or she'd get "fat"! Oh. Not logical at all but did I mention that she has an incredibly HOT BODY? I can put up with a little illogic for results like that. Yummy!

I really want to see Yoko again, I wonder if she likes me?

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