Almost 40-Year-Old Virgin

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Email to Yoko

I sent the following email to Yoko. Because you guys are so good at criticizing me and telling me when I'm a jerk, loser, etc., you can have a field day with the email:

Dear Yoko,

Hi, thanks for writing :)

I'm sorry that I never called you again after the last time we saw each other, and I feel kind of bad about that. I just think that the relationship that you're looking for, in which the man is the "gentleman" who does everything for you and spends a lot of money on you, and you're the Japanese princess, is just not me. Maybe you need someone who makes more money. Or maybe I just don't like spending money because until two or three years ago I didn't have much. I think my "soulmate" is just more independent you are.

Besides that I really enjoyed spending time with you, enjoyed talking with you, and you look really pretty, and you have a great body.

If you'd like to hang out sometime as just friends, and not going on a formal date, I'd like that, because I enjoy hearing your stories about Japan and your observations about how the U.S. is different.

Virgin

posted by Almost 40 virgin at 7:16 AM

9 Comments:

  • Wow. Great note. I predict Yoko is going to react positively and want to get together again, this time on your terms. She probably never wanted a sugar daddy. She just wants what every other woman wants, a guy with some balls. You've showed her you have some with this note.

    By Anonymous Cameron, at 1/24/2006 9:11 AM  

  • I think it's good, too. You told her you want to see her, you complimented her, you were nice to her, but you aren't going to be taken advantage of. PERFECT!

    If she wants to see you without you spending $400 on her, she will contact you.

    But what about this:

    >>Because you guys are so good at criticizing me and telling me when I'm a jerk, loser, etc

    WE often tell you you are NOT a loser...YOU say you are a loser all the time!

    Again, you seem to characterize us asking you good questions as calling you names. Does it bother you that much that you might be doing some things hypocritically, like...

    the fact that you assume there is no such thing as a "late bloomer" on the female side (there are a lot of us shy ones out there)?

    Or stereotyping all women? Or saying things like "some 'woman' who has to advertise on the internet" when you do the same thing?

    Do you see me name-calling there?

    The letter to Yoko shows progress. Now just stop stereotyping all women based on the ones you've met.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1/24/2006 9:49 AM  

  • Fantastic, really. Love the dear johnny emails.

    By Blogger Bama Girl, at 1/24/2006 6:48 PM  

  • Dear Virgan,

    I Yoko. I read e-mail. I love to be your friend. In Japan, male friend by female friend $400 in drink and dinner. You take me out, okay? I make you deal. If I no have to spend my money, I no have to walk, I no have to drink drink I ordered...and you no have to kiss me, OK?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1/24/2006 8:26 PM  

  • I think that's a good one. It is direct and with no frills.

    If she ever call you up, to get together, as friends, make sure she understand about going dutch.

    This Anonymous Yoko is ludicrous, to think that somebody has the time to post as Yoko, just to purposely annoy you..

    By Blogger mad bicker swirl, at 1/24/2006 8:54 PM  

  • I thought it was to purposely be funny.

    Anyway, I just responded to what you said on IJC's site. That's good, the guy at least tries to go on two dates with a woman who isn't perfect, and all you have to do is complain about the double standard. I don't read those girls' mean blogs. Just like the men who are jerks are not the men I want. Stop hiding behind the worst of human behavior and try to be more like the best. Those girls who pick apart those dates are not finding happiness, trust me. And neither are you. So change it up a little.

    I don't read the sites of girls who pick apart their dates - because I am more interested in guys' dating stories (being a girl and all). So that's why you don't see me commenting there. I have female friends who are very kind to their male dates.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1/24/2006 11:04 PM  

  • Wow, this note totally would have offended me. I think the part where it says I just think that the relationship that you're looking for, in which the man is the "gentleman" who does everything for you and spends a lot of money on you, and you're the Japanese princess, is just not me would really have pissed me off. Why not say "I just think that the relationship that you're looking for is just not me"? Why define it and risk offense--even if it's true?

    By Blogger --, at 1/26/2006 3:31 AM  

  • I'm with you, Kristin, I find this slightly offending. But, then, we have to "grow some testicles".
    At least the comments here are not too harsh this time. I think that our host is being very patient and sensible, regarding our comments.
    My understanding about the "loser" issue : we're not losers because of our virginity. (On the contrary, some of us may be proud of that). We are virgins because we are losers. Or feel so.

    By Anonymous G., at 1/26/2006 4:35 PM  

  • Note : when I wrote the above comment I was totally unaware of which Kristin you were. Otherwise I would have avoided the lame allusion. Well, no big deal.

    By Anonymous G., at 1/26/2006 4:58 PM  

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