Thursday, September 1, 2005

Followup on my previously blogged about dates

I wore jeans and a polo shirt out to my date on Sunday with Felicia, which was the suggestion of a woman Felicia's age who is a veteran New Yorker (whom I know in the real world and not online). So I was surpised when Felicia shows up looking all formal in a black and white skirt, with a black top thing preppily tied around her shoulders, and wearing a lot of matching silver colored jewelry.

I'm inclined to think that SHE'S the one who made the fashion faux pas here. My problem is with social phobia specific to physical intimacy with women and not with fashion.

Felicia is 35, but she looks older than 35. I'd have guessed she was 40 if I didn't know better. I don't mean to sound like I'm saying that she's not good enough for me, because that would only be an excuse for my real problem which is fear of pursuing this. This is why I called her today, but I just got her voicemail.

Felicia has good qualities such as she's tall, flirty, and has a pretty good body, certainly better than mine, and I will write more about my pathetic body in the future because that's an important source of my problems with women.

I called Sarah tonight too, but also just got her voicemail. I think I might like Sarah better, but that's probably because I only had one date with her.

It also occurred to me yesterday that these negative affirmations are not helping me at all, yet I don't see how I can realistically imagine doing the deed with these prospects. It's like one of the commentors said, I can't have sex for the first time with a woman I really like.

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