It has been a year and a half. One or two people thought I may have died, like Bob. Luckily, that didn't happen.
I was actually logging in to delete the blog, because I remembered that it was still out there, and I don't really want anyone linking it to me. But what might dissuade me from pulling the trigger are the many heartfelt emails and comments I received during the last year from other male virgins. Maybe it helps others like myself to know that they are not alone, in which case it would be selfish of me to just delete everything.
I also received a lot of spam (that's when someone hopes to make some small profit by inflicting me with his unwanted comment or email), emails from people in Africa who stand to inherit large sums of money if I will only forward them a few thousand to pay their legal fees, and invitations to appear on TV shows like Montel Williams and various reality shows. Sorry, I'm not going to make a fool of myself on national television, the modern version of the circus freak show. If people want to know my story, they can read this blog.
The last post before I left, about online gaming, was not supposed to be taken seriously, some people just don't get my sense of humor. Somehow, because I'm a virgin, this means that I'm not allowed to have a sense of humor. On the other hand, maybe I shouldn't look down on people who do find romance from online games. But I got bored with The Sims Online pretty quickly, it has to be the most boring computer game ever created.
At the moment, I don't really desire to try to lose my virginity. There was some comment during the last year where the person said that sex with a woman really isn't any better than masturbating. Masturbating is something I can feel good about, while trying to have sex with a woman will probably lead to more embarrassment and disappointment (as happened the last time). That bad experience with Rana pretty much killed it for me.
I've also come to realize that women aren't such wonderful creatures as men make them out to be. If Adolf Hitler had some magic ability to give men amazing and addictive pleasure, everyone would think very highly of him and suck up to him in order to get that pleasure out of him, but he'd still be Adolf Hitler. Last week, the governor of New York ruined his whole life, and may go to prison, all because he couldn't keep his penis in his pants. The most mean-spirited comments posted on this blog have all come from women. Most men just don't understand women's true natures because they are pussy-whipped.
Anyway, the point of the previous paragraph is that I shouldn't buy into the story that I'm not normal unless I have a sexual relationship with a woman. In Nazi Germany, they said you weren't normal unless you participated in the genocide of the Jewish people. Just because everyone says something, doesn't mean they are right.
Monday, March 17, 2008
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29 year old male virgin here. You are like the mirror image of myself!
ReplyDeleteI read almost all the articles you added over the years. You have a great way of putting your thoughts into words. Althought I'm 3 years too late, you are really discussing a 4% margin of society who are virgins, to 96% of people who don't or can't comprehend why.
-S.S.
Dude,
ReplyDeleteIf this is true, "At the moment, I don't really desire to try to lose my virginity", then why are you talking about on your blog?
You think that people really care whether you are a virgin of not... they don't.
But I think you do have issues with rejection and putting yourself out there.
What ever you decide, good luck.
Suzy Weiss
http://www.DatingSecretsForDivorcedWomen.com
Straight Talk For Divorced Women’s Dating Success
I'm three years too late as well, but this seems like an interesting blog.
ReplyDeleteWow this blog has been old. I wonder if the owner is still a virgin... just curious.
ReplyDeleteI just happened on this blog last night and I came back in order to comment on the paragraph beginning "I've also come to realize that women aren't such wonderful creatures as men make them out to be." Yep, women are just human beings. Some men may romanticize them--and falling in love can be magical--while other men may demonize them ("that bitch," etc.). Neither gender has a monopoly on kindness or meanness, in my opinion, though sometimes those attributes are expressed differently by the genders.
ReplyDeleteThe statement "Most men just don't understand women's true natures because they are pussy-whipped" sounds to me like it's coming from a place of hurt, but lashing out in a way that is unfair to both sexes. It is decidedly not the case that underneath the facade, all (or most) women are mean or conniving or whatever, nor is it true that men who praise women for their love, support, mothering abilities, whatever, are just "pussy-whipped." It sounds like you have had some hurtful experiences with women. (I didn't read the whole blog but I did read the post about trying to have sex with Rana, who sounded sweet, actually, though perhaps I'm misreading that.) I'm really sorry you had experiences that hurt you, and I'm sorry you've found trying to have sex embarrassing and disappointing.
For what it's worth, I don't agree with the comment you related that having sex isn't better than masturbating. I'm female, so I can't speak for men, but I think I can say that while the quality of an orgasm may not differ, the experience does. Really good sex is an expression of intimacy and desire that goes beyond the bare physical need. In that way, I think it's vastly different. It is, of course, perfectly okay to opt out of that. I know men (and women) who have done so, one of whom told me he has "intimacy issues." Intimacy involves risks and is not for everyone. It's a good thing, in my opinion, that there is a way to relieve sexual tension solo.
Our culture also puts too much emphasis on losing one's viriginity, in my opinion. As long as what you're doing (or not doing) is not hurting others, have at it. But I would also hope that you won't let the sexual thing be a barrier to a relationship, if you find you start getting interested in someone in a romantic way. That would be a real shame for you, and potentially hurtful for the other person.
Just my (well-intentioned) 2 cents.
wow, misogyny much? I think there's a reason why you're still a virgin.
ReplyDeleteDude, it is NEVER too late. Please note this comment on the following blog:
ReplyDeletehttp://themodernsavage.com/2008/09/30/the-dilemmas-of-male-virgins/
[Comment]NotGivingUp June 11, 2013 at 6:46 am
OK. I hate to be harsh, but I have to say something. Consider this tough love.
I made a post about my older male virgin situation a while back. I was 47. I am now 48 and guess what? I have a girlfriend. We have sex at least three times a week. Turns out I’m pretty good at it. Why did it happen? Because I tried.
All these comments I see from guys younger than I am who have given up and are saying “woe is me” are irritating because they remind me of how I used to be. At some point I decided I wasn’t satisfied with my life and I changed a few things.
I became more assertive. I quit looking at porn and did “seven day challenges” where I wouldn’t jack off till at least the weekend. Being horny is a great motivator. I used an online dating site and went on a bunch of dates. Ultimately I found my girlfriend on Craigslist. We were both looking to hook up, but we had enough in common it turned out to be more. We’ve been together almost a year.
Our first night, I didn’t tell her I was a virgin and things went well. I told her “It’s been a while” when she asked. She figured it out a bit later, but by then it didn’t matter. Now, things are pretty easy. We both want it and we both get it. I’ve gotten used to the whole world of sex – dealing with periods, lubrication, condoms, etc. The big emotional barrier that sex presented before seems like a dream to me now.
Would I have preferred to lose my V-card in my teens like other guys? Maybe. I would’ve had relationships, had a different life. But it happened when it happened. I’m alive now and I’m happy. I like sex and I love my girlfriend. Just got a new job that I like also.
So my advice: QUIT BEING A WHINY PUSSY AND GET OUT AND GET LAID.
If I could in my late 40s and I’m satisfied with my life, then you can too. Make an effort and quit complaining. Making women feel sorry for you isn’t going to work. Be a man. Act like one. If you’re gonna give up, stop complaining.[End of comment]
Maybe you are no longer a virgin and this is a moot comment, but if not, it is NEVER too late.
I turn up 40yo Virgin 2 weeks ago, and here is my 20yo matured contribution : THAT EMPIRE STRIKES AGAIN", LET BE THE VIRGIN UNITED, BRING BACK ANARCHY, LET'S REMOVE GUILT FORM SEX, AND ALL HAVE SEX NATUREDLY, DIFFERENTLY!!!!
ReplyDeleteIf we are Virgin, its because we are confused between Love and Sex and there's NOTHING WRONG with this. Having been isolated myself because I had to excommunicate slowly for 20years from my Muslim background (apostasy is theoretically death punishment in worse muslim cultures - not mine, fortunately, where it is still seriously prevented) . Rather than your War-like Western Love attitude, I faced a not less confusing semi-arranged marriages.
Whichever reason, it shows that the core confusion is Cultural/Societal, NOR PERSONAL and it is double: 1) it sets sex as a ambivalent target/problem, for Love and in Love, 2) it establishes "Dogmatic Rules" for Men-Woman by defining "Roles" both in seduction and sexuality.
In this context, being a late Virgin IS A NORMAL REVOLT against Love rules, and you should feel all proud for doing it!!! Besides, though I'm happy for Mitch, I think some advice ("quit Porn"), not all ("I became more assertive"), is helping us, the core revolted Virgins: good you enjoy sex, but not sure Mitch, you have a definite solution to LOVE, which is more Fundamental problem...
Some Virgins were Artists, close to Geniuses. The author of the "Little Siren" for instance Hans Christian Andersen http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hans_Christian_Andersen#Love_life
Or the french Romantic Poet Gerard de Nerval and there are problably plenty others!!!! Let's ad me!
Against seduction rules: read this http://www.daoudala.plus.com/Secret/dig_secret.html
And For a New Love, read that...
http://www.daoudala.plus.com/manifesto/ULTIMATE_MANIFESTO.htm
Humans Rights are Over... We want "THE RIGHT OF SEX, NOW!!!" Common, Vive la Revolution!
Some people are virgins in the west cos they deserve it being subservient to a culture that defines masculinity in such regards leaving most men in the wilderness while the priveledge or decietful get what they want and exploits women to be masters to the highest bidder or best scumbag, this comment a guy in case who had all these choices from his muslim family or friends trying to help him get a women rejected it all cos he believed in some bullshit nonsense that adopting western culture will get him true happiness and now believes no need for sex cos being a Virgin is great what basis is that cos if I was a atheist that seems like anti-depressants or drugs talking to stop me committing suicide as you failed the natural selection game very badry even though you had license to do whatever to get women
Deletehey i'd love to interview you on the mens view podcast email us at hdizzle@themensview.com i can bring in an expert to help you out
ReplyDeletehttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Six-dimensional_space
ReplyDelete