Finding love in massively multiplayer online games

There was an article in the Wall Street Journal two weeks ago about people who got married who met in "massively multiplayer online games."

A year and a half ago I was an avid player of one of these games, Final Fantasy XI (FFXI). It was a fun game, but there weren't very many female players. And people estimate that half of the female players you did see were actually male players pretending to be female. Yuck!

But based on the Wall Street Journal's endorsement I thought that maybe I should give this another try. I needed to find a game with a better male to female ratio.

I read good things about a game called There.com, so I installed it it, but everytime I logged on it made my computer crash and I had to reboot. I guess I need a newer computer.

Then I tried The Sims Online (TSO). TSO supposedly has the best male to female ratio of all massively multiplayer online games, but hardly anyone plays it. I can see why. It's pretty pointless. There's nothing to do. In FFXI you would join a team of other players and kill monsters. Only with good teamwork was it possible to kill them efficiently. As you killed monsters you would very slowly but surely move up in level and become morer powerful, allowing you to kill more powerful monsters. Unlike in the real world where you work and work and nothing happens, in FFXI your work is rewarded. I think this is why some people find these games so addictive.

In TSO all you do is stuff like make dinner, eat it, go to the bathroom, take a shower, sleep. I mean this is the only virtual world ever invented that is more boring than real life. But this virtual world does have a better male to female ratio than the real world. And the females are easier to talk to. Everytime I log on, my virtual roommate, MsTina starts chatting with me. MsTina is a 23 year old from Alabama and she's married to a construction worker. I told her I was 23 also. There's no point telling her I'm an old man. It's not like we're ever going to meet anyway. For all I know "she's" really some fifty year old gay guy. What's the difference?

MsTina asked me if I was dating any girls, so I told her about Marseille. She said I needed to plan my date with her long before I go on it, and that I should buy her flowers. MsTina means well. It's very sweet.

Last night I met another female sim named Celestial Skye. Skye is from Denver and she says she's a manager at a call center. She didn't say how old she was and I didn't ask. After I "hung out" with her, she gave me $10,000 sim dollars. I guess this makes me a sim gigolo or something.

The best thing about the Sims is that no one has to see what I look like in real life, and I don't have to perform sexually. All I have to do is type on my keyboard, which I am pretty good at.

I don't think I'd want to marry someone who is such a loser that they play this game.