Almost 40-Year-Old Virgin

Update

2008-03-16T21:57:00.003-04:00

It has been a year and a half. One or two people thought I may have died, like Bob. Luckily, that didn't happen.

I was actually logging in to delete the blog, because I remembered that it was still out there, and I don't really want anyone linking it to me. But what might dissuade me from pulling the trigger are the many heartfelt emails and comments I received during the last year from other male virgins. Maybe it helps others like myself to know that they are not alone, in which case it would be selfish of me to just delete everything.

I also received a lot of spam (that's when someone hopes to make some small profit by inflicting me with his unwanted comment or email), emails from people in Africa who stand to inherit large sums of money if I will only forward them a few thousand to pay their legal fees, and invitations to appear on TV shows like Montel Williams and various reality shows. Sorry, I'm not going to make a fool of myself on national television, the modern version of the circus freak show. If people want to know my story, they can read this blog.

The last post before I left, about online gaming, was not supposed to be taken seriously, some people just don't get my sense of humor. Somehow, because I'm a virgin, this means that I'm not allowed to have a sense of humor. On the other hand, maybe I shouldn't look down on people who do find romance from online games. But I got bored with The Sims Online pretty quickly, it has to be the most boring computer game ever created.

At the moment, I don't really desire to try to lose my virginity. There was some comment during the last year where the person said that sex with a woman really isn't any better than masturbating. Masturbating is something I can feel good about, while trying to have sex with a woman will probably lead to more embarrassment and disappointment (as happened the last time). That bad experience with Rana pretty much killed it for me.

I've also come to realize that women aren't such wonderful creatures as men make them out to be. If Adolf Hitler had some magic ability to give men amazing and addictive pleasure, everyone would think very highly of him and suck up to him in order to get that pleasure out of him, but he'd still be Adolf Hitler. Last week, the governor of New York ruined his whole life, and may go to prison, all because he couldn't keep his penis in his pants. The most mean-spirited comments posted on this blog have all come from women. Most men just don't understand women's true natures because they are pussy-whipped.

Anyway, the point of the previous paragraph is that I shouldn't buy into the story that I'm not normal unless I have a sexual relationship with a woman. In Nazi Germany, they said you weren't normal unless you participated in the genocide of the Jewish people. Just because everyone says something, doesn't mean they are right.

Finding love in massively multiplayer online games

2006-06-13T19:52:00.000-04:00

There was an article in the Wall Street Journal two weeks ago about people who got married who met in "massively multiplayer online games."

A year and a half ago I was an avid player of one of these games, Final Fantasy XI (FFXI). It was a fun game, but there weren't very many female players. And people estimate that half of the female players you did see were actually male players pretending to be female. Yuck!

But based on the Wall Street Journal's endorsement I thought that maybe I should give this another try. I needed to find a game with a better male to female ratio.

I read good things about a game called There.com, so I installed it it, but everytime I logged on it made my computer crash and I had to reboot. I guess I need a newer computer.

Then I tried The Sims Online (TSO). TSO supposedly has the best male to female ratio of all massively multiplayer online games, but hardly anyone plays it. I can see why. It's pretty pointless. There's nothing to do. In FFXI you would join a team of other players and kill monsters. Only with good teamwork was it possible to kill them efficiently. As you killed monsters you would very slowly but surely move up in level and become morer powerful, allowing you to kill more powerful monsters. Unlike in the real world where you work and work and nothing happens, in FFXI your work is rewarded. I think this is why some people find these games so addictive.

In TSO all you do is stuff like make dinner, eat it, go to the bathroom, take a shower, sleep. I mean this is the only virtual world ever invented that is more boring than real life. But this virtual world does have a better male to female ratio than the real world. And the females are easier to talk to. Everytime I log on, my virtual roommate, MsTina starts chatting with me. MsTina is a 23 year old from Alabama and she's married to a construction worker. I told her I was 23 also. There's no point telling her I'm an old man. It's not like we're ever going to meet anyway. For all I know "she's" really some fifty year old gay guy. What's the difference?

MsTina asked me if I was dating any girls, so I told her about Marseille. She said I needed to plan my date with her long before I go on it, and that I should buy her flowers. MsTina means well. It's very sweet.

Last night I met another female sim named Celestial Skye. Skye is from Denver and she says she's a manager at a call center. She didn't say how old she was and I didn't ask. After I "hung out" with her, she gave me $10,000 sim dollars. I guess this makes me a sim gigolo or something.

The best thing about the Sims is that no one has to see what I look like in real life, and I don't have to perform sexually. All I have to do is type on my keyboard, which I am pretty good at.

I don't think I'd want to marry someone who is such a loser that they play this game.

Marseille

2006-06-12T20:27:00.000-04:00

I went on two dates with Marseille last summer, before I even started this blog, so I never wrote about her before. Unlike in most cases where I get scared to call the girl back after two dates, I really liked Marseille. She was so cute. But alas, after our second date, she seemed to ignore my attempts to contact her again. End of story?

One trick I learned from Yoko is that she sent me an email even after I was ignoring her. So the thought came to me, "hey, I can send Marseille an email. The worst thing that can happen is that someone who isn't going to go out with me anyway thinks I'm a loser."

So I sent Marseille an email. More than two weeks passed and it was ignored. Oh well, I guess she really couldn't stand me. But then, I received the following email:

Virgin:
I apologize for the delay in responding - I'm out of town, with limited access to the Internet, through the 30th.
I'd like to get together again when I'm back in the City, if you're still willing.
Best,
Marseille

I was so happy that she wrote. The joy of hearing from her was a reminder of the joy I felt when Madison, my first date ever, agreed to go out with me.

So I sent her the following:

Yes Marseille, I'd still love to get back together with you when you're back in town!

Where out of town are you? Are you enjoying the trip?

And Marseille wrote back later that very day:

Virgin:
I'm off to Italy, Greece, and the Czech Republic - I'll tell you all about my travels upon my return! Have a great couple of weeks, and I'll get in touch when I'm back States-side.
Best,
Marseille

Isn't that so cool that she gets to spend two months travelling around Europe and doesn't even have to work? I can't wait until she gets back "States-side."

Don't talk to strangers

2006-05-25T19:33:00.000-04:00

This is what my mother told me when I was a child.

I remember once being at the supermarket with my mother, and while her back was turned some man was talking to me. When my mother saw that I was conversing with a "stranger," she yelled at me and told me never to talk to strangers.

Yes, she spent a lot of time telling me never to talk to strangers, never to get into a car with stranger, don't believe anything a stranger tells me.

I really took the instructions to heart. When my mother then introduced me to her friends, I would clam up and not say anything. After all, if I never saw them before then they were strangers to me, I was just following orders. I was completely mystified how one adult could be a bad "stranger," and another adult a good "stranger" whom I was allowed to converse with.

I believe this was really bad child raising on the part of my mother. I suppose there's no harm in telling this stuff to a child who's naturally extroverted, but for a child who is already shy, like I was, I think this is devastating. I managed to reach the age of eighteen without being kidnapped by a pervert, but I was a shy and socially inept eighteen year old, not so good at interacting with people and dreadfully afraid of girls.

Of course there are other factors at work, but I really do think the message "don't talk to strangers" contributed to my problems. People are born naturally extroverted or introverted, but I believe that social phobias like shyness or fear of sex are also the result of our environment when we are young.

A good parent would try to encourage a naturally timid child to be more open and not make the situation worse by instilling fear.

Tying up loose ends

2006-05-24T23:57:00.000-04:00

For those people who have read all my posts about the girls I dated and want to know what happened.

MIRIAM

I did see Miriam a second time, and we had a nice day visiting the New York Historical Society, one of my favorite art museums. She even paid for dinner. Which was quite tasty too.

The problem with Miriam is that I just can't stomach going out with a girl whose hair is going gray. I know I'm committing the sin of being a choosy beggar, but it is such a huge turnoff.

OBJECTIVIST GIRL

I met the objectivist girl, and although she wasn't quite as pretty as suggested by the photo, she was still kind of cute. Unfortunately I really felt like there was no chemistry at all, The conversation was very forced and uncomfortable. I'm surprised, I thought we'd have a jolly good time talking about The Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged, but I guess not.

YOKO

She sent me an email which I ignored.

CARR

This loose end makes me sad.

I think that this post was the last time I mentioned her. I met her for lunch, which was probably the last time we met. When we parted, I didn't know how exactly I should end things, so I kind of gave her an uncomfortable hug and peck on the cheek.

When I first me her, her appearance kind of freaked me out. She was skinny in an unpleasant anorexic looking way, and this was accentuated by the sleeveless top she wore. And her hair was a mess and her outfit was pretty unconventional. If she is in any way cute, it's only her personality which makes her cute and not the way she looks.

Yet I grew to like her and I saw her several times after our first meeting. Three additional times I think. I like her enough that I'm sad about not seeing her again, yet seeing someone on four occasions and not knowing what our relationship is supposed to be, I found this really confusing and pyschologically uncomfortable.

And I feel bad that the stock she bought on my recommendation went down. I emailed her apologizing, and she said don't worry and hinted that she'd like to see me again.

No girl as fun as Carr has ever seemed to be interested in me before. So yes, I am very sad about not writing back to her after that. Genuine tears came to me eyes while I was writing this post.

Dating optimists like to say that eventually you will meet your soulmate. I always wonder what happens if you meet your soulmate but you blow it because you are too shy/afraid to forge a romantic relationship. What if Carr was my soulmate? For a long time I thought that Jenny was my true soulmate, but I got over that eventually.

I'm returning to blogging

2006-05-24T19:05:00.000-04:00

I've decided to return to blogging.

It occurred to me that the stories from this blog would make a great book. "Great" in the sense that I think someone would publish it and people would buy it.

So not only will I blog about my current dating situation, there will be more emotionally painful posts explaining my past, shedding more light on how I came to be the way I am.

The comments are still riddled with the usual "I think this blog is fake," and revealing that I'd like to make this into a book will only convince those that all along there was an ulterior motive. This is not true, at the beginning I had no idea that anyone would want to read this and I was just hoping to use the blogosphere as a free psychoanalyst.

One of the primary reasons why my commitment to this blog flagged is because of the many mean-spirited comments which made me feel worse than I already felt. If this blog was merely a fake persona then the comments wouldn't have gotten to me because they would have just been people insulting a fictional character.

The existence of so many disbelievers reveals how little most people understand the other people around them. Women, for example, who primarily associate with sexually agressive men (because the shy men are too shy to have female friends) judge all men based on a non-representative sample of the total universe of men.

On the other hand, I also get comments from men who are virgins or who lost their virginity late in life, and women who were in romantic relationships with older virgins (but few women have had such an experience), and there has never been a comment of the nature "hey, I'm a virgin and I know what it's like and I know your blog is fake." No, the comments from people who understand older male virgins have so far been appreciative.

Miriam calls me

2006-05-10T21:46:00.000-04:00

Who is Miriam? I met her for coffee a weekend and a half ago, and we "hung out" for quite some time and we had an early dinner and I even paid for the dinner. It only cost $21. She's a doctor--a specialist in fact--so she probably has enough of her own money to go Dutch in the future.

Miriam can best be described as "frumpy." She wears glasses. The scariest thing about Miriam is that she has all these gray hairs. A woman in her mid thirties shouldn't have gray hairs. Hasn't she ever heard of Miss Clairol? She really needs to pay a visit to my hair stylist. She also needs to lose a few pounds.

I was kind of shocked to hear from her. This is surely the first time in my life a woman called me on the phone after a first date after which I never called her. And it was a double shock after reading all those comments about how I'm so despicable that no woman could ever like me.

And I discovered that Miriam has been reading my blog. No not this blog!!!! My other blog that no one reads. When you write about important stuff, like the war in Iraq and the next presidential election, no one wants to read it. But then I start a blog where I write about my sexual problems and I get hundreds of visits a day. It's sad that the other blog will never be as popular as this one.

Objectivist dating

2006-05-08T21:10:00.000-04:00

This girl contacts me via the online dating service, and she's several years younger than me, so what's the catch?

I had a 45 minute phone coverstation with her, and 30 minutes of the conversation was about Ayn Rand. She's a big Ayn Rand fan. She read every single one of her books. Wow, I'm so impressed.

She's probably homelier than her photo suggests. I can't imagine a really hot girl being interested in Ayn Rand.

Of course I should be delighted that an intelligent objectivist girl is interested in me instead of being concerned about her appearance. Except I worry about not being attracted enough to get it up.

The return of Yoko

2006-04-23T22:07:00.000-04:00

A commenter wrote:

Virgin, I gotta say, if there's one good thing you did this year, it's get rid of Yoko. That was perfect, how you did that. So don't feel as though you didn't accomplish anything.

Well unfortunately, it turns out that I didn't even accomplish that. I figured after the last email I sent her, that would be the end of her.

But then out of the blue I get another email from her. She said I got the wrong impression of her. But then she made it clear that the cab rides home were non-negotiable. I was feeling lonely and unwanted, so foolishly I agreed to take her to dinner.

She comes up with the address of this sushi place (which was actually quite good I'd go there again), and the prices would have been reasonable if she didn't order a huge amount of all the most expensive sashimi on the menu. After the meal she suggests a movie, so we take a cab to the movie theater and naturally all the movies are sold out because this is Manhattan. Then she wants to ride in a hansom carriage, so $40 later we are back where we started and then I have to take her home by cab.

A few days later, repeat the same thing, but at a different sushi restauarant.

But then I discover that this weekend was her birthday. Two thousand years ago, a fellow by the name of Ovid warned men about women and their birthdays.

Be careful not to make your first advances on the birthday of your mistress, as that is the time for making presents, and you will certainly be out of pocket.

as translated from the Latin in 1896 by Henry T. Riley. It may have been written two thousand years ago on a different continent, but things really haven't changed that much.

So she tells me she wants me to take her to the Water Club for her birthday. With trepidation I look it up in Zagat and the guide says that it "only" costs $59 per person. Well, okay, that didn't sound too bad. But the guy who estimated the cost of the meal didn't calculate the cost of a meal with a spoiled Japanese princess with the appetite of Homer Simpson.

When she asks the waiter if they have any caviar, I know I am in for a night of great financial pain.

And then for the main course she orders lobster, of course. The waiter asks if she wants the two pound, three pound, or four pound lobster. I'm thinking please pick the two pound lobster, please pick the two pound lobster. She picks the three pounder.

When the waiter bring us the desert menu, I ask her if she wishes to share a desert. Most women actually prefer this because they don't want to get fat. But Yoko doesn't let worries like that get in between herself and a $10 desert. So I have to order two deserts.

With tip, the meal costs $275.

And now she wants me to take her to see the Yankees on Wednesday and Friday. And she says "only get the best seats." God forbid she'd have to sit up in the $20 seats. (I remember when it used to cost only $4 to see the Mets. What happened to $4 seats?)

Tomorrow I am going to email her and tell her that she needs to find a boyfriend with more money. I would do it right now, but I don't want to ruin her birthday.

I have learned the following from all of this:

(1) I had no business complaining about the cost of a $10 bouquet of flowers.

(2) I'm never dating an Asian girl ever again. Only white girls from now on.

(3) The Water Club is a pretty nice place, and one day I hope to take someone really special there. Except I'm thinking now that the "valet" expected more than a $1 tip for hailing us a cab, I hope he doesn't remember me.

Flowers and the city

2006-04-15T11:49:00.000-04:00

Flowers are sold at just about every street corner in Manhattan. Who's buying all these flowers? Men certainly aren't buying flowers for themselves (except maybe gay men).

In the photo, a blonde woman shops for flowers. She is probably married and wasting her husband's money.

If buying flowers for women helps one get laid, maybe I should be doing this.

My advice for other men is to only buy flowers for women if you intend it to be a short term fling. You don't want the woman you marry to have the epectation that she's going to be getting flowers from you all the time.

Hello blogosphere

2006-04-14T13:45:00.000-04:00

I took a sabbatical from blogging. I can't say for sure whether this post means I'm coming back, or if it's just a temporary reappearance.

While I was away, someone left a link to an article about asexuals. I was not an asexual because when I was in high school I got hard ons from looking at girls just like everyone else, I was just too shy and scared to act on them. And of course it didn't help that I was unathletic skinny and not so great looking. I didn't notice my sex drive declining until after the age of thirty.

I feel sympathy for the people in the article who are stigmatized because society tells them that it's not normal to be asexual. Being homosexual is considered more normal than not being interested in sex at all.

All the news that's fit to print

2006-03-21T21:11:00.000-05:00

Continuing on the theme of criminals who get laid a lot, the New York Times profiles a Mr. Brannon:

Curtis E. Brannon, told a story so commonplace it hardly bears notice here. He quit school in 10th grade to sell drugs, fathered four children with three mothers, and spent several stretches in jail for drug possession, parole violations and other crimes.

We can only imagine how many women he had sex with who didn't get pregnant.

WOMEN JUST NEED SPERM

Continuing with important articles from the paper that has all the news that's fit to print, we have a piece on single mothers who get pregnant via artificial insemination.

People in New York change sex partners quicker than the crosstown bus," Karyn said.

I'm sure not enjoying any of that. Karyn meant that good looking people in New York change sex partners a lot.

Artificial insemination apparently makes women more interested in casual sex:

One woman, a 40-year-old graduate student in biology in the Midwest, told me shortly after her first insemination: "One of the things that was so powerful about deciding to have a baby on my own was saying, I'm taking charge of this piece of it; I'm not going to wait around for a guy to give it to me. And my feelings about what I want from men right now are really changed. I don't actually want a big relationship. Now I want occasional companionship and sex."

On a recent date, between inseminations, this woman noticed the difference. "It was one of these dates where the guy's just telling you his sad story and his complicated relationship with his mother. In my previous dating life, I would have been, like, I'm not going to get seriously involved with a man like this. I'm going to get rid of him. This time I was, like, I think he's hot, so if I just keep listening, maybe eventually we'll have sex. And we had great sex. It was really hot." At one point, she had sex with two different men in the same weekend (both times using condoms) not long after an insemination.

And for the freakiest part of the whole article:

Q., the former yeshiva student who ended up choosing the 6-foot-2 German rugby player as her donor, developed severe hypertension during her pregnancy and had to be hospitalized several times. Her symptoms lingered even after her daughter was born, and she became preoccupied with what would happen to the baby girl if she were to die. Her brother and a sister are selfish, she says, and her mother is elderly. Last fall, she went to the Donor Sibling Registry and got a shock: the Aryan bodybuilder with the leaping sperm has fathered 21 children (and counting — he is still an active donor), including four sets of twins. These children are all 3 and under, and their families — four lesbian couples, three heterosexual couples and six single mothers — have formed their own Listserv, where photographs of the children (all blond, with a strong familial resemblance) are posted, and daily e-mail messages are exchanged about birthdays, toilet training and the like. They are planning a group vacation in 2007.

21 children all sired by a 6'2" bodybuilder from Germany? Jesus. That's more then five times as many kids as the 10th grade dropout drug dealer.

The fat ugly apprentice is fired

2006-03-20T23:56:00.000-05:00

I feel bad for Brent, the fat ugly apprentice, because his flamboyant personality is a reaction to the world disrespecting him because he's fat and ugly, and it seems like his team immediately took a dislike to him in the first episode based to a good extent on his appearance.

Unfortunately, he really did shoot himself in the boardroom by being undiplomatic in the way he attacked Tammy the project manager.

At least Brent didn't cry in front of the cameras, unlike a lot of the women, including Andrea the tall statuesqe "multi-millionaire." I bet she wouldn't be a multi-millionaire if she were short fat and ugly like Brent.

The morally deserving do not get laid

2006-03-19T23:36:00.000-05:00

You must be another bitter guy who wants to decide that we all like having sex with Preppie Murderers.

If you ever did have sex with a murderer, how would you know? It's not like he's going to go around telling people that he murdered someone. And maybe some guy you had sex with in the past later committed murder and is now in prison or on the run. I'm sure the many women who had sex with Robert Chambers didn't know they were having sex with a future murderer. Although there seems to be evidence that he also had sex after he became a big news story and before he was locked away.

Obviously you missed the whole point of my last post, which is not that all women desire to have sex with a murderer. It was in response to the assertions that I'm somehow not morally deserving of having sex. This example was to demonstrate that being morally deserving has absolutely nothing to do whether a man has sex.

If one believes in Catholicism, then there is probably an inverse correlation between being morally deserving and having sex, because at least three of the seven deadly sins, Pride, Greed, and Lust, would lead to more sex.

Blame the fat ugly apprentice

2006-03-13T06:42:00.000-05:00

In last week's episode of the Apprentice, Stacy, a pretty woman, develops an intence animosity for Brent who is fat and ugly. Probably the reason she hates him is because he's fat and ugly. Brent confronts her away from the others and tells her to stop cutting him off, and then she tells the group that Brent "threatened" her. Everyone sides with the pretty girl, and they all blame Brent for their team's failure. It seems to me that the apprentices are acting like a bunch of kindergarten kids, ganging up on the kid who is different.

Dondald Trump sees that Brent was not the real reason the team lost the task, and he thinks Stacy is full of shit for pretending to be threatened by a fat ugly laywer when Stacy is a defense attorney and deals every day with genuine criminals. So Stacy and Pepe the project manager get fired, and Brent sticks around. Of course Donald doesn't want a fat ugly apprentice working for him either, but Trump always keeps the colorful people around for the first half of each season because they are good for ratings.

A COMMENT ABOUT MEN WHO HATE WOMEN

Commenter said:

"girls don't date guys who hate girls."
That is not true. Getting women has nothing to do with hating them or not. Misogyny is nothing to be proud of, but it has nothing to do with sexual success (some of the biggest womanizers were and are misogynists, but alot of them aren't).

He (I'm guessing that he's a he because women just don't seem to get it) makes an excellent observation.

I was thinking about that comment and I was thinking of all the scumbags who have lots of sex with women, such as Robert Chambers, the Preppy Murderer, who had lots of sex with women, but I find it hard to believe that he didn't hate women based on the fact that he raped and killed of of them.

That's a lesson about the type of men women really want to have sex with versus the type that they pretend to like in the comments they leave on blogs.

It wasn't so bad

2006-03-09T23:29:00.000-05:00

I was on a date tonight, and it wasn't so bad. I'll have to write more about it in the near future. I know some people are dispapointed that I haven't written much recently, because they surf the web looking to get pissed off about stuff and I haven't given them anything to get pissed off about. So I promise that the future post will be "judgmental" and full of "misogyny" and even "racism" (she happens to be Chinese). In fact, the Chinese angle really needs to be explored, I'm not sure how I feel about that.

In the meantime, if you want to get pissed off about something, I recommend this excellent post by my favorite blogger.

Gay Oscars, gay decade

2006-03-06T08:23:00.000-05:00

The gay cowboy movie may not have won the Oscar for Best Picture, but this still was a pretty gay Academy Awards with both Capote and the gay cowboy movie going in with a large number of nominations and Philip Seymour Hoffman winning the Best Actor award for his portrayal of gay writer Truman Capote.

This is the decade where it's cool to be gay, but it's not cool to be an older male virgin. It's ironic that the vast majority of Americans claim to believe in Christianity, yet gay people who sin (according to the overwhelming majority of Christian religious leaders) are considered to be cool, while virgins are looked down upon and mocked, as in the horrible movie which inspired the name for this blog.

Gay men are often good looking with extroverted personalities, two qualities that will get you far in America. In contrast, older male virgins are nearly always shy and ugly, the two most hated qualities. No one cares what happens to shy and ugly people. So even though there may be almost as many older male virgins as there are gay men in the same age range, no one cares about the problems of the virgins.

Groundhog Day

2006-03-05T01:06:00.000-05:00

Groundhog Day is the movie where Bill Murray relives the same day over and over again. And that's how it is with my dates. All the dates I went on last week were similar to dates I've been on in the past, so there's no point writing about them in detail (only to get blasted for being too "judgmental").

And to answer the question from the last post, the answer is (c).

Preview of the week ahead

2006-02-27T23:29:00.000-05:00

I was on the phone for over three hours tonight with this young woman in her twenties. Wow, either (a) I'm a really interesting person to talk to; or (b) she's weird; or (c) she's really desperate. I hope that answer (a) turns out to be the case.

I will be seeing her later this week, along with two other dates, so there will be plenty to write about!

Annie Hall

2006-02-26T19:21:00.000-05:00

I watched the movie Annie Hall today (only $9.47 from Amazon.com). In case you're not familiar with it, Annie Hall is a Woody Allen movie from 1977. People must have liked it back then because it won four Academy Awards: Best Picture (beating out Star Wars), Director (Woody Allen), Actress (Diane Keaton) and Original Screenplay.

Woody Allen plays a neurotic Jewish guy (basically the same character he plays in all of his movies), and Diane Keaton plays Annie Hall. The movie is about their relationship.

The movie begins with an opening monlogue in which Woody Allen makes two observations that I agree with 100%:

1. "[Life is] full of loneliness and misery and suffering and unahappiness, and it's all over much to quickly."

2. "I would never want to belong to any club that would have someone like me for a member."

More than one commenter to my blog has mentioned observation #2.

I think the funniest scene in the movie is when Annie Hall orders pastrami on white bread with mayonnaise, tomatoes, and lettuce. And she did it without any hint of irony; it's no wonder why she won an Academy Award.

A guy like Woody Allen, short, balding, nerdy and with an incredibly annoying personality, would never even be able to get even a single date with a woman as cute as Diane Keaton in 2006. This either means that (a) women were different back in 1977; or (b) this is just Woody Allen's fantasy and in no way reflects reality.

I leave it to my always knowledgeable readers to suggest which of these two interpretations is correct.

Women are spendthrifts

2006-02-25T22:48:00.000-05:00

Here's an article that says something that men know but women don't seem to realize: women are spendthrifts.

Hayden says the shop-'til-you-drop syndrome is more than a harmless female pastime; it also deprives woman of the opportunity to grow money through investing. In their 20s and 30s, when their male counterparts are buying homes and investing in mutual funds, many women are spending on clothes, cars and decorating the apartment.

Unfortunately, the article also contains a lot of psychobabble.

IN THE UK, WOMEN PAY THEIR FAIR SHARE

Here's an excerpt from an email I received from a British woman. I hope she won't mind me sharing it.

What is with paying for all the dates? Is this a NYC thing or an American thing? I live in the UK and across here it works the other way round - you each pay for yourself the first few dates. If it goes further and you start dating properly, then he might treat you to a few drinks or dinner,but it seems crazy for one member of the couple to have to pay for everything at the start when you don't know if you're ever going to get a return on your investment!

NYC women seem greedier than then in the rest of the country, but all over the U.S. women expect men to pay. Also, as women get older, the expectation of getting free stuff from men increases.

Outside of NYC women usually offer to pay (but if the man accepts the offer he's considered a cheapskate), however in NYC women rarely offer, and often they don't even say "thank you."

MISCELLANEOUS BLOG UPDATE

Someone speculated in a comment that I was no longer a virgin. Unfortunately I'm still a virgin. I haven't had anything write about, and the be honest, I'm mentally tired from being insulted (almost entirely by female commenters) with every post I write, so I was taking a break.

Too personal?

2006-02-20T18:27:00.000-05:00

In response to my last post about my investments increasing in value by $38,800, sugarpunk wrote:

to me that is a HUGELY personal question and/or answer to put on a blog..

I wrote about being a virgin and masturbating and sexual dysfunction, and that's not too personal, but somehow this is?

The blog is anonymous and I can write about whatever I want. How much money I made in the market is probably the least personal thing I've written here. It's the only thing in this blog I wouldn't be ashamed to tell my mother.

RETURN TO INTERNET DATING

The girls I met though non-internet sources, Carr, Shannon and Alicia, aren't panning out. Shannon didn't return my phone call, and I tried again, but that's it. She knows how to use a telephone and if she doesn't want to call me back after two dialing attempts, then she's not worth the trouble.

One commenter said that the more dates I go on the better off I am, and although it's hard to tell the good advice from all the crap advice I get, this sort of sounds reasonable.

$38,800

2006-02-18T15:38:00.000-05:00

That's how much my investments are up since the beginning of the year. This probably sounds like a lot of money to some people, but not to NYC people who make more money than this each month as salary. You need a lot more money than I have to attract hot gold digger babes.

Carr bought some stock that I recommended to her, which is sort of flattering because not many people actually listen to my advice. Luckily the stock price already went up since she bought it; I'd hate it if she lost money on my account.

Lust for money same as lust for sex

2006-02-16T22:48:00.000-05:00

People have complained that I write too much about money when the blog is supposed to be about me not having sex.

However, researchers at Stanford University have discovered that lust for money is the same as lust for sex:

Late at night, in a basement laboratory at Stanford University, Brian Knutson made a startling discovery: our brains lust after money with the same neurons that they crave sex.

It was May 2004 and Knutson, a professor of neuroscience and psychology at the Californian university, was sending student volunteers through a high-power imaging machine called an fMRI.

Deep inside each subject's head, electrical currents danced through a bundle of neurons about the size and shape of a peanut. Blood was rushing to the brain's pleasure centre as students executed mock stock-and-bond trades. On Knutson's screen, this region of the brain, the core of human desire, flashed canary yellow.

Knutson, 38, concluded that the pleasure of orgasm, the high from cocaine, the rush of buying Google at US$450 a share - the same neural network governs all three. What's more, our primal pleasure circuits can, and often do, override our seat of reason, the brain's frontal cortex, the professor says. In other words, stocks, like sex, sometimes drive us crazy.

Alicia, first and last date

2006-02-14T23:41:00.000-05:00

Girls with wealthy dads come in two types. The materialistic princess type is most common, and then there's the rebellious "I don't care about money" type which I especially dislike because their lack of concern about money is backed up by the knowledge that there's a Rich Daddy to fall back on. Alicia is the latter type of rich girl. She shares a one bathroom apartment with two other roommates. That's quite a commitment to being poor. Most of the girls in NYC have their own apartment on their parents.

Unfortunately for me, I got absolutely zero vibes that Alicia was in any way interested in me, so I guess she's not. No point calling her again, I guess. Too bad, because she looks pretty nice.

And not to dissappoint the people who hate me because I always mention how much money it costs to date, Alicia did not offer to pay for her drink.

CARR

She wants to meet me for a workday lunch. At least I don't have to worry about having to perform sexually, because we will both have to go back to our respective jobs at the end of the date.

Unlike Alicia, Carr does have her own apartment and I strongly suspect that her parents are helping her pay for it.

SHANNON

I called and left a message but she didn't call back yet. I think she's the type of girl who likes to play games like that.

Shannon probably pays for her own apartment with her salary. Between her, Carr and Alicia, Shannon has what I presume to be the highest paying job.